I read these a while ago and thought they were really cute. Hope you like them. 

“Somwhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights, and all our jokes, I fell in love with you.”

“Isn’t it funny how when someone breaks your heart, you still love them with all the little pieces.” 

         Christmas time is generally a time when people spend time with people they love. With me, I do love my family I suppose, but I would much rather not be with them. For the most part, they just remind me of death. They all sit around after presents, talking about all of the newest deaths in the family and among friends. Some of the people talking about these things look like they should be dead themselves. Their hair is white and falling out, their skin is falling off, their memory is fading and they are always mean and cranky. All I can think about when I am near them is, “Is that how I’m going to  be?”  The whole thing is really depressing.

Sometimes, I think that the only reason I’m still alive is because I don’t know what’s going to happen after I die, and that scares me. Will it be Heaven, Hell, or a never-ending blackness? I don’t know. Part of me wishes that I knew and another part is glad that I don’t because if I did, then I probably wouldn’t be here right now, which depending on the day, could be a good or a bad thing. Good more often than not.

When I think about myself in relation to other people, I often think that they would be much better of if I just weren’t there. Wherever I am, bad stuff seems to always follow, generally fighting. This occurs a lot with my parents, which I realize is completely normal. It just seems to me that I am more trouble than I’m worth and they would be much better off without me in their lives. Everyone would. I never say the right thing, never wear the right thing, wear too much make-up, too little make-up, don’t eat enough food, eat too much food, the list goes on. Everything is such a hassle. I am such a hassle.

I remember thinking, “If I lost weight, then they will love and accept me.” So that’s what I did. I lost thirty pounds in about two months. I loved it. I wanted to lose more. Finally they were noticing me. Finally they were showing some sort of love and concern for me. The only bad thing about this was that I felt like I was sick, every single day. My head, back and stomach would hurt. If I ate too much red meat I would throw up. I was way more tired than usual. I always wanted to be alone and sleep. I wanted to die. I wanted to die because nothing I ever did was good enough for anybody. It wasn’t good enough for my friends, parents or teachers. And it certainly wasn’t good enough for me. 

* I got this in an e-mail and thought I would share it. I like the first one the best. *

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back:

1. Time

2. Words

3. Opportunity

Three things in life that can destroy a person:

1. Anger

2. Pride

3. Unforgiveness

(I don’t think that’s really a word.)

Three things in life that you should never lose:

1. Hope

2. Peace

3. Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable:

1. Love

2. Family &Friends

3. Kindness

Three things in life that are never certain:

1. Fortune

2. Success

3. Dreams

Three things that make a person:

1. Commitment

2. Sincerity

3. Hard work

So, I currently have a boyfriend who lives about 20 minutes away and we both have somewhat hectic schedules but so far, we have been pretty good about making it work. That is until this week. We were supposed to see eachother last Sunday but then I had a family emergency and it wouldn’t work. He is busy Monday though Wednesday of every week with work related stuff so I wouldn’t be able to see him again until Thursday– exactly a week since I’d last seen him. This will be the longest we have ever gone without seeing eachother. To add to it, we haven’t really talked now for four days. Yesterday I called him and five minutes into the conversation he said that he had to get back to work and would call  me that night. Then at 3:30am. I get a text saying that he is going to bed and will call me when he wakes up. Now he is awake and online but not saying anything to me. I have to know, does this mean something or am I just being paranoid?? 

I remember not too long ago when we hadn’t seen eachother for four days and he was saying how it had been way too long and that he couldn’t handle it. Now we haven’t even talked in four days and he doesn’t seem to care. 

About two weeks ago he told me that he was falling in love with me. I didn’t know what to say at the time. I had thought that I was in love before and it turned out horribly. I really really liked my boyfriend but just wasn’t ready to use the “L” word yet. Then in the beginning of this week, I realized that I really do love him and am just scared of what that means. It means that he can hurt me. It means that I have gotten in way over my head and now there is no way out. I also realized that I’m not really scared of being in love and what that means, I am afraid of rejection. What if one day he wakes up and realizes that maybe he really doesn’t love me? What if he meets someone else and just forgets all about me? That would be horrible. Especially after I’ve told him that I love him. I have never told anyone that before. Maybe I’m just being ridiculous. I don’t know. But I was going to tell him last Monday when he was supposed to call me, but he didn’t. Then I was going to tell him Tuesday but during our 5-10 minute conversation he sounded really tired and then said that he was going to go to bed and call me the next day (which he didn’t). I called him the next day and once again he couldn’t really talk and failed to call me that night like he promised. Now I don’t even know if I want to tell him. Maybe he is having second thoughts. Maybe he is seeing someone else… but I don’t think he would do that. I just don’t even know anymore…

Any advice would be wonderful. Any at all. 

* I just got this in an e-mail that someone sent to me and thought it was cute. Hope you like it. :] *

 You may not realize it, but it’s 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be

just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t

like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another

look.

11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude

remarks.

So ,,,

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,

Failures keeps You Humble,

Success keeps You Glowing,

But Only God keeps You Going

“… love gave someone the power to break you.” – New Moon, 219

“Once you cared about a person, it was impossible to be logical about them anymore.” – New Moon, 304

“Love is irrational … The more you loved someone, the less sense anything made.” – New Moon, 340

“Don’t hide your mistakes, ’cause they’ll find you, burn you…” – Three Days Grace