* I just got this in an e-mail that someone sent to me and thought it was cute. Hope you like it. :] *

 You may not realize it, but it’s 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be

just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t

like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another

look.

11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude

remarks.

So ,,,

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,

Failures keeps You Humble,

Success keeps You Glowing,

But Only God keeps You Going

Why is it that when someone you love lies to you, it has the power to completely destroy you? What is so powerful about the truth, that we will do anything to obtain it, no matter the consequence? Lets say that you know something that would completely destroy someone if you told them. Is it better to lie?

A friend of mine once said “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can load a bullet.” 

It is one thing to have someone you love to lash out and hit you, and it is another for them to look you in the eye and blatantly lie to you face, without even the slightest hint of remorse. It is even worse when they are lying to you, and you know it. You know it right then, but you can’t say anything. You just freeze. How can they possibly lie to you like that? Especially after everything that you have been through together and after everything that you’ve done for them?? It’s insane! It’s just as bad, if not worse, than having them pull out a knife, look you in the eye and plunge it into your side. 

“… love gave someone the power to break you.” - New Moon, 219

“Once you cared about a person, it was impossible to be logical about them anymore.” - New Moon, 304

“Love is irrational … The more you loved someone, the less sense anything made.” - New Moon, 340

“Don’t hide your mistakes, ’cause they’ll find you, burn you…” - Three Days Grace

Today, Martha could tell that I was mad at her. I would have been worried if she couldn’t, it was pretty obvious. She wanted to talk after school in front of all her other friends, but I opted to wait and talk on the phone later. When I got home she called me. We talked for a little while and she told me that she no longer does drugs, never sold them (lie), and that the only thing she ever lied to be about was the drugs (another lie). I’m not sure if she is lying about not doing drugs anymore but I am pretty certain that she is. I mean, what are the odds that right when I go to talk to her about it is right after she “quit”?? Especially when out friendship is on the line??

Ugh, I don’t know what I am going to do. I never said anything about not hanging out anymore because she just kept saying that she no longer did any of that stuff. I think we might talk again tomorrow. 

It’s complicated because on the one hand I still want to be her friend. On the other, I don’t. I’m not sure what I am going to do, but whatever it is I need to do it soon. My birthday is coming up (tomorrow) and I don’t really want to do it after, especially if she gets me something, because then it will seem like I was waiting until after I got something (present/gift) to talk to her and break it off, which I definitely am not doing!!

So I’ve finally decided, I’m going to talk to her tomorrow. I’m not sure exactly when that will happen (like during lunch, right after school, on the phone tomorrow night, etc.) but I am pretty sure that it will happen tomorrow. Right now I am trying really hard to concentrate and work on my report that is due tomorrow along with a project and presentation, but I just keep thinking about this. What am I going to say? How will she take it? Will she try and threat to tell people things that I have done? (I have never done drugs.) This is just so confusing and so complicated. Two things that I really hate. 

 Pretty soon, I will be best friendless. It’s pretty sad but something that has to happen.

            My best friend (we’ll call her Martha) is a druggie and drug dealer. She has always kept me out of it (which is somewhat good I guess) by lying to me constantly (not so good). Lately however, Martha has become a lot sloppier than usual. She has been selling stuff in front of me (somewhat sneakily) but not quite as sneakily as she used to be.

            She also thinks that she is all that when really she isn’t. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself and doesn’t get that what she does and says effects other people.

            The main things that bug me about her are: 1. The drugs (obviously) and 2. The lying. Lying is the one thing that really bugs me. I cannot stand people who lie. She knows this and yet she lies to me constantly and thinks that I am so stupid that I won’t find out or know right then.

            The other day at school, this guy (we’ll call him Tony) came up to me and was like, “Martha told me that you just figured out that she smokes pot last week.”

            I was like, “I just found out? I’ve known for almost two years now!” 

            Tony, “Oh my God! Are you serious? You’re smart! She thinks your stupid!”

            Me, “What happened a week ago?”

            I think I do know what it may have been that happened a while ago though. Martha and I were going on a walk around my neighbourhood when she was telling me how her boyfriend (Eric) had left one of his CDs in his friend Mike’s car. About an hour later her phone began to ring and she informed me that Mike was in the neighbourhood and we were going to walk over to where he was and get the CD from him. When we spotted him, she walked up to the car, he quickly slipped something into her hand, and she then stuck it into her pocket. When she came back over to where I was, I said, “Wow. That must be a really small CD.”  Martha just looked scared for a second, gathered her thoughts (lies) and then said, “ *laughs* Oh yea. Eric wanted me to pick up his stuff for him. Mike couldn’t drive all the way over there and we were close.” (She knew that I knew about Eric smoking) Then I was like, “ YOU WILL NEVER HAVE DRUGS DELIVERED TO MY HOUSE EVER AGAIN! YOU WILL NEVER BRING THEM INTO MY HOUSE AGAIN! IF YOU DO AND I FIND OUT, YOU WILL NEVER COME OVER EVER AGAIN!”  She then looked a bit worried, but just laughed and said, “I’ve never brought anything to your house. This is the first time and I’m just doing it for Eric.”

            She never once thought about what would happen to me if my parents found it. She never once considered that just by me being around her, I sometimes smelled like pot too and could get into a lot of trouble.

            I know that it seems like the obvious choice to just drop her as a friend and move on. The thing is though, we have been friends for about four years now and are pretty much like family. I am done with it though. I am done with her. I still care about her and do not want to see her end up dead, in jail, or in any other sort of trouble, but I do want her family to wise up and get her the help she needs.

            If anyone has any advice or has been in a similar situation, please let me know. I will try and keep this as updated as possible and am planning on talking to her sometime this week. Hopefully.

            [This is the friend I talked about in ““How To Save A Friend From Themselves" and “Last Night”.] 

Does anyone know how to change the font on posts? I used to be able to do it but now it won’t let me. 

“But there can be no secrets in a house where there are children.”

~ The Thirteenth Tale ~ 

“Politeness. Now, there’s a poor man’s virtue if ever there was one. What’s so admirable about inoffensiveness, I should like to know. After all, it’s easily achieved. One needs no particular talent to be polite. On the contrary, being nice is what’s left when you’ve failed at everything else. People with ambition don’t give a damn what other people think about them. I hardly suppose Wagner lost sleep worrying whether he’d hurt someone’s feelings. But then he was a genius.”

~ The Thirteenth Tale ~ 

     I hate my parents. I cannot wait until I can legally move out and be rid of them. All they ever do is yell at me. I’ll be sitting there, doing homework, and they will walk in the room and just start freaking out. I suggested Prozac on numerous occasions, which generally just makes it worse. Does anyone know what the legal age is when you can move out without getting in trouble with the law? I know 18, but any earlier? I once heard that if you are a 17 year old “run away” the cops won’t even look for you. Is this true?

     My ex was recently online which stirred up feeling that I thought I had gotten rid of. Turns out I don’t like the 23 year old at all and actually still like my ex. How pathetic can I be?! Apparently very.